This is... my alma mater

This Is from Alex Silver on Vimeo.

— Photos of a Yearlong Hiatus

I have been a writer, journalist, blogger for more than half my life now. From scribbling down a random thought to the misc reporter job — Writing has always taken up a very real space in my mind. So, it's strange to look back over an entire year (and, yes, this is even after I made that certain New Years resolution to keep up le blog) and realize that I have been way out of practice. That is to say, the practice of creative thinking, hell, worldly thinking and expression. I know, it's all very vague and hocus pocus. A year has gone by and I cannot possibly describe how much a person can grow in just twelve months.

2010 began in Paris.

And flowed into Rome, where old friends met in new places...

Back to school for a semester of reverse culture shock.

Which ended on playful notes.

Made Philly my home for the summer of The Intern Life.

It became a very beloved city; theme of the summer: serendipitous moments.

Plenty of beach frolicking.

For business or pleasure? I think both...

Great nights.

Trips to New York.

To play with ducks "looking at tails."

Celebration of friends and the final year at school!

It's a pizza grin.

A semester of burritos.

And Halloween characters.

And M.I.A.

And pranks on important people.

Of visitors and snowy football fields.

Fishbowls,

And wintry parties.

2010, it's been real. 2011!?

Places I've been in the past year: Paris, Rome, School, NYC, Philly, the JERSEY SHORE. 


Places I plan on going this year: NYC, Dominican Republic, Montreal, DC, Albany, Boston, LA to Napa Valley road trip, da 'Burgh

And I'm planning on keeping a record of it all :) Happy New Years!

Here's to the Summer of '08

Headline news: I have returned to Po-town!!

Packing and moving out of my dorm room was an unbelievably stressful process. I felt rooted into the place and unable to tear myself from it. Even after I finished cleaning the walls, moving the furniture back, and peeling off all the scotch tape, I felt too sad to leave my little home. I had no choice, though. I underestimated my check-out time and had to resort to "express check-out" which means they will probably charge me for some room damages which I cannot appeal.

I will miss: my French class, spontaneous parties, Sunday brunches at the diner, my angels, awkward moments, being FRESHMEN (and using that as an excuse for everything), library dates, my Writing sem class, my Christmas lights, alpha phi, and coffee at every hour of the day.

I look forward to: the wild urban jungle (i.e. New York city), high school soulmates, and the mystery of the Summer, long island beach trips, Riverside walks, internships and jobs, tans.

Here's to the summer of '08!

A TALE OF SURVIVAL

I AM NO LONGER A COLLEGE FRESHMAN. How bittersweet...

I won't lie- this past week almost killed me. When I went in to take my French final on Saturday morning, I literally believed that I would faint in the middle of the 100-question grammar section. The night before, my body was punishing me for all the horrible long nights I've put it through. It was giving me all the warning-signs of complete shutdown: aches, fever, nausea, migraines, soreness... But I survived. I dragged myself home -looking pale as a ghost- and took a five-hour nap, fasting for a good 24-hours to cleanse myself of all this disgusting study-junk-food.

As a celebration, my future roommates and I dressed up and went out. Today, I've begun to pack. My walls are beginning to look terribly bare. Everyone is in the process of either studying, packing, or a combination. We are officially in twilight.

I felt extremely sad and depressed this morning for some reason. I've been realizing that my life will always be changing. And I can never get this back. The way things are now is only now and we can never go back to how we feel at this specific moment in time. Freshman year is over and a chapter is closing that I can NEVER get back. Time is such a weird thing to think about. Every moment, seconds are passing - but what does that mean? I can imagine how things will be like in the future. I can remember how things were in the past - but slowly, those feelings of how it felt like to ... be little and running around in a grass field... or be in the middle of an excruciating French exam... will eventually fade.

It's sad, definitely to think that something is moving on. I feel like I'm being pushed on, quicker and quicker into my future. I'm starting to get a feeling of how people can say that twenty or so years have gone by so fast and "before you know it, you're old, or pregnant, or married." I'm almost TWENTY. That's when things will be very speeded up. But I want to slow it down and pull the brakes somewhere and just cherish now. I 'm clinging onto 'now' very dearly. Cause I feel like after now, the future will wash over me. And I will have absolutely no clue what just happened.

MY WALLS LOOK SO BARE NOW.

Getting through the Last Few Days...

I studied for my Anthropology final all of Wednesday and Thursday. I took my Anthro final Thursday night. Afterwards, I went to the library and stayed there until 2 AM, working on my final paper for writing seminar. I went back to the dorm and chomped down an entire sandwich and worked until 5 AM. I woke up this morning at 8 AM and went back to working on this final paper (taking a break now). I will walk to college town around 11 AM to hand in this miserable paper. Then, I will begin studying for my French Final and take the goddamn exam at 9 tomorrow morning. AND THEN. I will be finished with my Freshman year. And I will have survived Freshman year...

An hour later... Okay, I'm on my way to college town now. I just finally finished my paper, printed it - oh, my god, writing this made me realize I did not print out my bibliography... there is madness behind my blogging! - sealed it in a manila envelope and now on my way. Am I sounding a bit scatterbrained? Actually, I have no idea how I am still breathing and talking, let alone WRITING, at this moment. A year ago, I may have been extremely overwhelmed by the schedule that I am now calmly enduring. A high school friend, who also goes to Cornell, said something interesting the other day: "Cornell brainwashed us into workers. Now, we don't even realize how much work we've been doing..." SO TRUE. But kind of scary 1984-ish.

I've been also trying something new. I think it's working, too. You know how some people just complain and nag and talk incessantly about how much work they have, even if it's just a simple worksheet or something? And we assure them that everything will be okay... for the first five minutes of their complaining. Then, it just gets plain tiresome. So, I stopped talking about work all together (at least, as much as possible). Because once you get into the mindset that work is just work, and you take it as it comes, knowing that next weekend will have to get here eventually, then work doesn't become its own person. You're the person. That's right. I sound like one of those cheesy motivational speakers.

On second thought, is that why I keep polluting my blog entries with writings about work? Oh well, I guess I have to vent about it somewhere... Off to college town now!

12 Amazing People I Met this Year

Inspired by the senior send-offs and paper plate awards, I've decided to remember a bunch of amazing people I've met this school year... and feel so thankful for coming across! Here are some that come to mind:

1. My suitemate (on the left), who I've done EVERYTHING possible with and we're basically on ESP level.


2. In addition to the people I've lived with all year long... Here's some of us on a United Nations trip:


3. Campus Crusade and our dumpling making session:

4. Fellow travel lover. Here's us in Montreal:


5. Couldn't leave out my childhood love:

6. Mona Lisa - Yes, that's her in the background.


7. MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASSMATE... IN PARIS... BY CHANCE!!


8. My French friends, who I met during met during my summer in Malaysia!


9. My dad's best friend, Uncle Roger and his son, the famous Alex (I once babysat him in Paris and we got so lost in the streets I wanted to cry)


10. My sorority:

11. My best friends. Probably the most diverse group of people at Cornell. "Such diversity in one university!"


12. Finally, my future roommates in the angel suite:



Cheers to a bunch of amazing people!

The end of a marathon weekend | Freshman year is over?? Wha-

Oh god. My head is pounding. My throat is sore. I'm a tired mess. This weekend has been the craziest, busiest marathon weekend of my life (PS. I am not exaggerating at all).

We started it off with a bang: SLOPE DAY - an epic celebration of everything Cornellian. Hot hot heat performed pretty solidly. Although the weather was a bit iffy, everyone toughed it out on the slope as best they could.



The next day, I woke up at 4:45pm!!!! NO JOKE. To top that off, I had a formal to go to at 5:30pm!!! I woke up to my friend banging on my door, scared to death because everyone had been trying to reach me all day and I hadn't responded once. I didn't even hear my alarm ring because I felt so worn out and tired the night before. Some background information: recently, an Ithaca College student was found in a pond after going missing for a few days (look up the story). In addition, a Binghamton student died from a car accident on slope day. All this combined with the fact that I had not responded to anyone's calls and been missing for a good 13 hours made everyone extremely alarmed. Thank god, I was fine (just a bit woozy from tons of sleep).

Me, extremely tired.

I woke up Saturday morning after formal at a decent hour but immediately hopped onto a bus to go on a wine tour. We visited Wagners vineyard, which was a good hour away, I think. It was BEAUTIFUL, next to Seneca lake. People had wine tastings and picnics. Pretty nice... EXCEPT THAT I LOST MY PHONE AND MY ID ON THE BUS. And that basically ruined my night. I was just so stressed and tired I went back and fell asleep around 9:30pm and woke up at 10:30am.


Wow. Come to think of it, I've been sleeping a lot, except the sleeping I've been doing isn't even real sleeping.. it's just a crash, blackout and then wake-up at an ungodly hour (either too early or too late). Today, I attempted to do work at the library but it was way too nice outside so I eventually gave in and slept outside (sleeping more damn it). I went to an amazing Thai restaurant for my friendss 22nd birthday... which was really a nice chill lovely thing to do.



So, I have to turn in early tonight. I really do. There's so much work to do and I've got to crack down for my finals and a final paper. Ok. I'm gonna crack down... starting tomorrow morning.

EPIC DAY TOMORROW.

As we all know, tomorrow is the first Friday of May. As well as the last day of classes. As well as, SLOPE DAY. THE MOST EPIC DAY DURING THE CORNELL ACADEMIC CALENDAR. GET EXCITED.

"And now," said Max, "Let the wild rumpus start."

This year, Gym Class Heroes and Hot Hot Heat will perform. I will probably be floating around between my early French class, my sorority mixer, my freshman friends, some of the Asian peoples, and miscellaneous. Basically everyone crams the slope (hopefully, we will all get there) and celebrates. Festivities begin at 10 AM. Set your alarms!!

Mandatory Morning Run

8:55 AM

That's when I woke up this morning. A reminder: my French oral proficiency interview was scheduled for 9:05 AM. I skyrocketed out of bed, jumped into running shoes and ran for it like the nerd that I am. I've been trying to wake up early and go for a morning run for so long. Well, I finally did it today. Although, I showed up panting, out of breath and about to throw up over my interviewer. The things I'll do to prove my love for French...

I also caught the end of my last Anthropology class. And we had our last class in writing sem today. It was quite sad...

Blah-ing Around

I'm so stupid. I missed my French oral exam. And now it's rescheduled for nine in the morning tomorrow! NINE. Back in high school, that would've been considered late, but after waking up at around 10:30 to 11 each morning now... this will be torture. I think I'll still be half asleep. Repeat: I'm so stupid! Je suis tres stupide.

And it's gotten cold, again.

Now that classes are over, papers are turned in... and there are no more big shows or anything of that nature... I feel really. really. bored. I thought I would be relieved to have some sort of break from work but now that I'm not busy anymore, I have no idea what to do with myself! It doesn't help that this is the intense study week for everyone else. So, I'm just blah-ing around until Slope Day and all that craziness begins. I'm ending early, too. May 10th! TIME FLIES.

Curiouser and curiouser fo sho | Crazy Stuff I've Been Up To

How am I still alive? Thinking back to last week, I can barely believe that I've made it through all the deadlines, final projects, and presentations. Let's see what I've been up to. I've...

Written a FULL documentary play.

Gave a presentation on tax deductions and postsecondary tuition rates.

Scored a two-year internship with the Herbert F. Johnson Art Museum.

Cranked out my final anthropology paper.

BS-ed a French final paper.

Assisted and modeled in the Cornell Design League Fashion Show.

















Spring Formal!




















Interviewed with The Laundress|New York for a summer internship.



















Started planning a potential California trip.

Just begun my final Theater paper...

Passed out.

It's about time I talked about it | Greek Life

I'm getting tired of Greek life. It's one of those things, where one aspect of it is both something good/exciting and bad/exhausting: social networking. I'll be the honest advocate and say yes, fraternities and sororities can be very superficial. Since when has knowing people and having connections matter so much? Maybe I'm not getting that connections is just another part of the general scheme of life. Connections: finding friends, jobs, freebies, etc. And since when was it necessary to be a part of an organization in order to feel accepted and have friends? That is the negative side. Cornell is a huge school - but it all boils down to this very small community of individuals. You begin to recognize people everywhere. I both love it and hate it. This is what I've realized: to be Greek is great, and fun, and amazing for networking. But one thing it is not: an identity. For this reason, I'm so thankful for friends who are not a part of this circle. They've kept me grounded.

Another thing I've asked: would I have ever joined a minority sorority? There are Asian (Asian interest, they call it) Greek organizations out there. But another thing I've realized: minority greeks are worlds apart from the general greeks. You would have never thought of that but really but I'm not exaggerating at all.

For one, there's the rush and pledging process differences. They are much more liberal in choosing pledges (partly because there's not that much of a selection, usually). But much more intense and serious about pledging. My pledge process was a whirlwind of countless events and opportunities to meet other Greeks. However, minority pledging is a time when you're meant to be "tested." There are a lot of sketchy, secret codes to follow. When you finally do initiate (or "cross"- they follow a totally different terminology which sounds kind of scary and intimidating in my opinion, but may have been developed for this exact purpose) it's a HUGE deal. Letters, hands signs, titles: all these little things suddenly gain such meaning. And even when you do finally initiate/cross, you are still considered a new member ("neo"). There's an obvious hierarchy and it all has to do with these customs, titles - an humanly imagined concept. I wonder if it derives from Asian culture. The older you are from an Asian standpoint, the more respect you receive.

They're making the hand signs for their sorority/fraternity.

We talked about it in my anthropology class for a bit. How do supposedly ordinary symbols and rituals suddenly hold such meaning? A simple hand sign or greek letter suddenly has intense value because you permit some people to use them and others not to. It's like negative reinforcement and slightly twisted. You make a certain individual's life hell, take away all dignity and self-respect to make a simple event hold such importance. The individual feels a hundred times more grateful, afterwards. But does this mean we should make one part of our life miserable so that we can really appreciate the other half? It's the same idea with people who have a problem with cutting themselves to ignore the personal pain in their lives.

To blow it way out of proportion, Hitler used some of the same tactics to slowly transform the Nazis into a full-on hate group using little rules that slowly brainwashed an entire nation. First, the Jews weren't allowed to have bicycles. Next, a curfew. Then, not allowed to own business. The Nazis had an intense pride because they gave symbols like the swastikas and Nazi salute great importance. Everyone felt bonded together.

I'm in no way comparing Greek life to Nazism. But just to prove a point that some ideas made me question the meaning of fraternal organizations. What does it even mean to be part of a fraternity or sorority? Is it an identity? Does one get sucked into it? Once you join one, will you ever have a life outside of it? Will your only friends be other Greeks? This is what I've been pondering lately. And, I'm beside myself with gratitude - no, not about my initiation - that being Greek is not my identity and I sincerely believe... well, if I even had the courage to ask myself and others these questions then really, I haven't changed one bit.

Recipe for a Perfect Weekend

I love how all the prefrosh think that all we do at Cornell is sunbathe in bikinis, gorge jump, eat, and play Frisbee. When I visited last year (it's been a year??), five feet of snow covered all of Ithaca. How I ended up here... that is the question. Anyway, let me first give a little introduction:

Every Sunday, my sorority has a chapter meeting to discuss all that's going on in and around Alpha Phi. Today, a woman from the health center came to us about nutrition. Apparently, a person whose mood dramatically improves as a result of good weather has a high dependency on seratonin. That means food, physical activity, and 60 degrees and over temp = happy. Welcome to the most amazing weekend I've had at Cornell, thus far and the beginning of a much needed love affair with this University of Diversity.

On Saturday morning, I woke up and threw on the oldest, rattiest pieces of clothing I owned and joined up with some people headed for Holi, an Indian holiday to "welcome Spring" (such a nice reason, huh?). It was INSANE. About a hundred or more students ran around Annabel courtyard, throwing colored powder at each other for three hours. I barely survived- we were all covered in color and looked like a complete mess. A random person had thrown yellow into my eyes and I needed a friend to guide me step-by-step to a bathroom.


At the end of Holi, someone came up with the brilliant idea to go swimming. Which eventually turned into a mass migration to the gorges. (You see why I'm amazed I ever found myself in a a college surrounded by waterfalls and cow meadows?) Imagine a crowd of paint-covered, barely recognizable figures splashing into the gorges. I think the water changed color after all that.

Yes, I spent most of this weekend outdoors. After our gorge-jumping-slash-color-cleansing adventure, we decided to lay out in sun, walk to Collegetown for bubble tea, get dinner. I ran back to get ready for a breakdancing showcase and going out. The perfect weekend. I ran-without going to the gym, got utterly messed up-intentionally, ate delicious food, and actually got a legitimate tan. Seratonin overload. This week will be bombarded with activities as well. It's officially Cornell Fashion week... our show is this weekend. And Formal is coming up. My INTERNSHIP INTERVIEWS. PRESENTATIONS. And, again I'm writing here when I should be writing for actual grades (I have a full documentary play to write tonight). Ciao, and have a good week. PS And yes, I did end my weekend night outdoors.