Quotation of the Week

Madeleine Peyroux: Smile by Charlums

"The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief." 

— William Shakespeare

Liberté, sororité, egalité

We...

Are...

Seniors!


What a wonderful love.

Routine... good or bad?

Taking time to enjoy a cup of coffee on a checked picnic blanket in fiiine weather? Priceless.

Though excruciating at first, waking up for my 9am is getting easier and easier. The trick is to get into routine. Earlier today, I started thinking about it. Routine can be comforting and perhaps even soothing. It's nice to know exactly what to expect. My first challenge at college was to establish a routine. Needless to say, I'm still having difficulties with this. When I first arrived at school, I was amazed by how much freedom I suddenly had. I could probably go out every night if I wanted to. If I just felt like ordering food or going for a run, I could. But then you realize it's not like that at all. You need a routine, and the routine becomes suffocating.

It's funny. One time when I was still in grade school, my sister and I decided to go to the neighborhood park. We've probably taken this walk a thousand times before. As we were walking, she suddenly made a comical, overly-exaggerated veer off to the other side of the street. I was both confused... and amused... Later, she told me she felt like something was "controlling her" to keep walking straight down the street. So, she made a ridiculous detour. She wanted the walk to be her own choice, and she wanted to prove she could go any direction that she felt like... even if her destination would be the same.

We get schedules, meetings, chores, tasks, assignments, and soon it's routine that's ruling your life, and life that's constraining your liberty. When did spontaneity become unfashionable? Is life just doomed to be chained to meaningless, mindless, aimless routine? If I am my own person, then why does it feel like I am only what my routine makes me... Maybe life in itself is just a large-scale balancing act between routine... and spontaneity. Are we supposed to only live around these routines? If so, when does real living begin? What gives: is routine good or bad?

Off to stop procrastinating on homework...

Ode to the Rat Race

Needless to say, living in the city has been both incredible and beyond stressful. I feel as though everything and everyone is moving at fifty miles per hour. My bills have caught up with my spending (BILLS. I'm officially a cougar). My schedule leaves me an express subway ride's moment for reflection. Work has become my life. What happened to the days of lazy summer vacations?

All this leaves me to question myself, what's the worth of living the "glam" city life? Take yesterday, for example. I went to my internship in the morning, redesigning a flyer perhaps more than seven times over. Then, I checked out and went to the bank to stand in a line of grumbling New Yorkers, deposited my check, and headed to work at the clothing store. We had a huge sale, the place was overrun with women and spending and hangers. One up, though: I used my store credit to purchase a beautiful silk and lace top, of which I immediately wore out.

Did I go home and collapse onto my bed, afterwards? Maybe, make myself a bowl chicken noodle soup? Pop a tylenol? Tucked myself into bed and read myself a bedtime stor- Okay, taking it a little too far, there.

No, I didn't go home. I met my friend, a current intern at Barneys, in Herald Square to go to a Vogue & Barney's bar party on the lower east side. Fantastic but I didn't get home until 2AM (blasted subway construction delays). Feeling unkempt and exhausted, I finally got to bed... just to wake up and do the whole day over again. I could go to a fashion show tonight for a Cornell alumna's new brand, but is it worth it? Sure, these events sound glamorous and fun, but is it worth the work? That's what I'm trying to figure out. That's what I need to figure out before I dedicate my life to the rat race.

Delaying the Real World | Twentysomethingdom

Sometimes, I go on these internet web-jumping la de da's, in which I just google whatever topic of interest I've come upon lately and then jump from link to link to link... Just for fun. It's very educational, in fact!

Today, I began researching something for an article I had to write for my internship. Then, I started thinking about internships, in general and began googling advice on working at an internship (this is my first experience, anyway). Then, I thought of how amazing it would be to have an internship next summer abroad... which led me to more websites and more websites... until I stumbled upon this gem: Delaying the Real World, The Twenty-Something's Guide to Seeking Adventure. Here's a brief excerpt:

"You've got this pearl of a decade in front of you: THE TWENTIES. This is the prime of your life! You've been on a straight path since you learned to tie your shoes, and now suddenly you've got a diploma, enough energy to run the length of the globe, and all the freedom in the world. 

So how are you going to spend the glorious days of your independent youth? In a cubicle, perhaps? Filing papers, or maybe crunching numbers? How about answering phones and scheduling meetings? 

Wrong! Now is the time to do exactly what you want to do and fulfill your wildest dreams. Don't be in such a rush to become boring! Let the early years be more unconventional and experimental. Try things you might never have the chance to do again. When else in life will you have such freedom? If you wait for retirement, the experience won't be nearly as cool. A thousand fleeting opportunities are waiting for you, and there is nothing holding you back from taking your pick. A year of teaching in Brazil? How about working on a vineyard in New Zealand? Or maybe biking across the U.S. strikes your fancy. From event planning at a Las Vegas resort to counseling at a wilderness camp for homeless children, you have such a rich variety of options you won't know where to start... 

The coolest thing about any adventure you choose is that it will be a valuable experience and may even catapult you into a future career. You can never go wrong in doing what you love, because it will only lead you further into your passion. Anyone who says doing the Peace Corps in Botswana or acting in a Shakespeare festival is a waste of time needs to crawl back into their office space. "

I had an interesting convo yesterday - no, make that a vent - voicing my fears that studying fashion and art will turn me into a complete, materialistic SNOB. You can easily get swept up by the glamour of luxury labels and brand names. I feel like everyone around me is obsessed with image. What people don't realize that fashion designers are geniuses - they are intelligent, extraordinary individuals. Sure, a lot of it is about money and social climbing but the ones I really admire - Alexander McQueen, Betsey Johnson, Phillip Lim - they are seriously artistic geniuses! Their collections make me speechless... 

Anywho, back to the topic of Delaying the Real World: coming across this website and book unexpectedly, really brought me back to Earth. It reminded me just how much I need to keep grounded no matter what work I'm doing... and not take stuff so seriously. 

There's a Method to all this Madness

I am a sponge. This summer is all about soaking up tons of knowledge, new ideas, and new experiences. That makes sense since I'm now spending more time working than summer-chilling (and that, kiddies, is why they tell you to find a job, you actually like - inspiration by Rachel Corrie). So, definitely reemphasizing the whole spiel on finding your passion la de da...

Now. Recall when we used to run into those environmentally-forward hippies (the ones who don't shower or use toilet paper) and think, "what ridic radicals..." or something along those lines.  I guess they had a point after all. 

The best part about my internship at The Laundress, Inc. is that I do get the best of both worlds. Not only are they an amazing, high-luxury brand but they are also environmentally conscious. Brands like The Laundress, and Method emphasize that most ordinary household products are toxic. So, I've been working on the whole detox ordeal, lately. I just bought hand wash, dish detergent and windex from Method. Check out their site for more information.

I never knew how being green could SAVE you tons of green and your health. Meaning, it's a lot cheaper on your electricity bills to practice environmental precautions. And so much better for your body if you take note of all the chemicals leaking from products into your home. Bottom-line: get green! 

Summer. You will feel better after the Summer.

So many times have I begun my travel writing in this very spot. I'm sitting on the Poughkeepsie-Grand Central train ride. I have taken this particular ride way too many times, whether to just stay in the city or jet off from JFK. So, here I am again, returning to start the first day of work at my very first internship: another adventure (should I dare to say 'life-changing' adventure). And like always, I have no clue what to expect. But that's part of the fun, right?

"Summer. You will feel better after the summer. I promise!!" That's a text message I received from a good friend of mine. I saved it because for some reason, reading it over makes me feel both relieved but also intensely intrigued. What am I supposed to be feeling better from? I guess we'll find out.

Here's to the Summer of '08

Headline news: I have returned to Po-town!!

Packing and moving out of my dorm room was an unbelievably stressful process. I felt rooted into the place and unable to tear myself from it. Even after I finished cleaning the walls, moving the furniture back, and peeling off all the scotch tape, I felt too sad to leave my little home. I had no choice, though. I underestimated my check-out time and had to resort to "express check-out" which means they will probably charge me for some room damages which I cannot appeal.

I will miss: my French class, spontaneous parties, Sunday brunches at the diner, my angels, awkward moments, being FRESHMEN (and using that as an excuse for everything), library dates, my Writing sem class, my Christmas lights, alpha phi, and coffee at every hour of the day.

I look forward to: the wild urban jungle (i.e. New York city), high school soulmates, and the mystery of the Summer, long island beach trips, Riverside walks, internships and jobs, tans.

Here's to the summer of '08!

A Scary Reminder from the Past

So. Maybe, I haven't changed that much at all. I just returned from the service center to pick up my mail and my friend Priscilla (editor-in-chief of my high school newspaper this year... and HARVARD prospective student) mailed me a few copies of last year's newspaper copies. I had wanted them for my portfolio before. So, I flipped to my 'Letter from the Editor' section to read what I had written. And it sounds eerily like my blog entry from yesterday... Enjoy:

A TALE OF SURVIVAL

I AM NO LONGER A COLLEGE FRESHMAN. How bittersweet...

I won't lie- this past week almost killed me. When I went in to take my French final on Saturday morning, I literally believed that I would faint in the middle of the 100-question grammar section. The night before, my body was punishing me for all the horrible long nights I've put it through. It was giving me all the warning-signs of complete shutdown: aches, fever, nausea, migraines, soreness... But I survived. I dragged myself home -looking pale as a ghost- and took a five-hour nap, fasting for a good 24-hours to cleanse myself of all this disgusting study-junk-food.

As a celebration, my future roommates and I dressed up and went out. Today, I've begun to pack. My walls are beginning to look terribly bare. Everyone is in the process of either studying, packing, or a combination. We are officially in twilight.

I felt extremely sad and depressed this morning for some reason. I've been realizing that my life will always be changing. And I can never get this back. The way things are now is only now and we can never go back to how we feel at this specific moment in time. Freshman year is over and a chapter is closing that I can NEVER get back. Time is such a weird thing to think about. Every moment, seconds are passing - but what does that mean? I can imagine how things will be like in the future. I can remember how things were in the past - but slowly, those feelings of how it felt like to ... be little and running around in a grass field... or be in the middle of an excruciating French exam... will eventually fade.

It's sad, definitely to think that something is moving on. I feel like I'm being pushed on, quicker and quicker into my future. I'm starting to get a feeling of how people can say that twenty or so years have gone by so fast and "before you know it, you're old, or pregnant, or married." I'm almost TWENTY. That's when things will be very speeded up. But I want to slow it down and pull the brakes somewhere and just cherish now. I 'm clinging onto 'now' very dearly. Cause I feel like after now, the future will wash over me. And I will have absolutely no clue what just happened.

MY WALLS LOOK SO BARE NOW.

Getting through the Last Few Days...

I studied for my Anthropology final all of Wednesday and Thursday. I took my Anthro final Thursday night. Afterwards, I went to the library and stayed there until 2 AM, working on my final paper for writing seminar. I went back to the dorm and chomped down an entire sandwich and worked until 5 AM. I woke up this morning at 8 AM and went back to working on this final paper (taking a break now). I will walk to college town around 11 AM to hand in this miserable paper. Then, I will begin studying for my French Final and take the goddamn exam at 9 tomorrow morning. AND THEN. I will be finished with my Freshman year. And I will have survived Freshman year...

An hour later... Okay, I'm on my way to college town now. I just finally finished my paper, printed it - oh, my god, writing this made me realize I did not print out my bibliography... there is madness behind my blogging! - sealed it in a manila envelope and now on my way. Am I sounding a bit scatterbrained? Actually, I have no idea how I am still breathing and talking, let alone WRITING, at this moment. A year ago, I may have been extremely overwhelmed by the schedule that I am now calmly enduring. A high school friend, who also goes to Cornell, said something interesting the other day: "Cornell brainwashed us into workers. Now, we don't even realize how much work we've been doing..." SO TRUE. But kind of scary 1984-ish.

I've been also trying something new. I think it's working, too. You know how some people just complain and nag and talk incessantly about how much work they have, even if it's just a simple worksheet or something? And we assure them that everything will be okay... for the first five minutes of their complaining. Then, it just gets plain tiresome. So, I stopped talking about work all together (at least, as much as possible). Because once you get into the mindset that work is just work, and you take it as it comes, knowing that next weekend will have to get here eventually, then work doesn't become its own person. You're the person. That's right. I sound like one of those cheesy motivational speakers.

On second thought, is that why I keep polluting my blog entries with writings about work? Oh well, I guess I have to vent about it somewhere... Off to college town now!

12 Amazing People I Met this Year

Inspired by the senior send-offs and paper plate awards, I've decided to remember a bunch of amazing people I've met this school year... and feel so thankful for coming across! Here are some that come to mind:

1. My suitemate (on the left), who I've done EVERYTHING possible with and we're basically on ESP level.


2. In addition to the people I've lived with all year long... Here's some of us on a United Nations trip:


3. Campus Crusade and our dumpling making session:

4. Fellow travel lover. Here's us in Montreal:


5. Couldn't leave out my childhood love:

6. Mona Lisa - Yes, that's her in the background.


7. MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASSMATE... IN PARIS... BY CHANCE!!


8. My French friends, who I met during met during my summer in Malaysia!


9. My dad's best friend, Uncle Roger and his son, the famous Alex (I once babysat him in Paris and we got so lost in the streets I wanted to cry)


10. My sorority:

11. My best friends. Probably the most diverse group of people at Cornell. "Such diversity in one university!"


12. Finally, my future roommates in the angel suite:



Cheers to a bunch of amazing people!

Battling Karma, Fate, and the Weather

This is a question I've been pondering: Am I genuinely loving Cornell/Ithaca or am I just loving the weather and where I'm at in life at this time? How much choice do we actually have over our emotions and general temperament? I keep thinking back to my first semester of college. If I could pick one word from the English language to sum it all up: angst. Yes, angst. Angst, as a single, pre-med, miserable freshman. Now, as a (still single) content, Art major, almost sophomore (did I just say sophomore?), I have to wonder: is this karma? Am I being repaid for the shitty semester I had last year? And if so, does this mean that I will have to return to a shitty next semester so that my karmic cycle is not off balance? That would... suck.

Everyone is amazed that the past few days have been nothing but beautiful weather. Bear in mind that beautiful weather in Ithaca just means sunshine. However, all of us know that this can't go on forever. So, we're all holding our breath, here. This string of perfect days has to end some time. I won't be surprised at all if I wake up tomorrow and see snow blizzarding outside my window. Around this time last year, I came to Cornell for a hosting weekend (oh I see so many kiddies walking around outside, oh the memories!) and it snowed. It was April.

Weather does affect mood. You can't argue that it doesn't. Walking to go to class - in sandals and a sun dress - definitely beats snow boots and jacket (and scarf, gloves, hat, earmuffs...) But when will this nice weather end? When will my happy semester end? We shall see. I've learned never to get too comfortable. That's when the unfortunate surprises occur. On a different note, I have two weeks to lose ten pounds. Yes, that's how much I've gained since I last got measured for the Cornell Design League's annual fashion show. Don't ask how I became a model... and definitely don't ask how I started to actually like Ithaca until the snow comes back again.

Hoping to Set a New Tone for a Busy, Dramatic Week

The beauty of life is that we are ourselves but we can also use imagination to be anything (doesn't it sound like a reading rainbow song?). So, we can imagine to be in the shoes of other people and wonder why they act a certain way. I'll quote Einstein to back this up: "Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited; imagination encircles the world." So this is my secret weapon and I'm sharing it with everyone out there (guess it's not a secret anymore). Whatever bad and terribly sickening circumstances finds you, remember that you have a mind- so use it.

When I was little, I had a love affair with a book titled The Little Princess by Frances Hodgsen Burnett (check spelling of author?). This very precocious girl is sent to boarding school, while her father goes to war. The stupid headmistress hates the brilliant girl but sucks up to her because she's mad wealthy. But, the girl's father dies and she is supposedly left penniless because rumor says her father lost all his money before his death. Out of anger, the stupid headmistress makes her a scullery maid. Tough times come about but in spite of all that, the girl rises above all the hatred and humiliation using her imagination. For a seven year-old girl, it was a beautiful story. This wasn't a typical children's book about "self-esteem" (i-think-i-can-i-think-i-can) or believing in yourself. It was pure beauty because that girl was so above all that. She didn't have to prove anything.

It was a beautiful story. And it still is. Imagination, sounds pretty vague, but that's what makes it seems like magic. I'm not going to oversoul this term to death. But lately, I've been finding that imagination and inspiration and peace may be all the same thing. That's my sappy, bohemian moral for the week.

Everything I Own in Plastic Containers

To the left, to the left... everything I own in a box to the left... La la la..
to the left, to the left......... and to the right, to the.... oh, and behind me.. and in front... and on top... and oh no.. I think.. I'm drowning..

I feel... exhausted! I am ready to keel over and go to sleep but no... I must prevail. I must must must finish cleaning and packing my things tonight! Because, tomorrow is my last day in my hometown and who wants to spend the last day stuck in a room, on the laptop and amid trash?? Not me... These last few days have been perfectly gorgeous outside... and I have not been able to do anything! Tomorrow will be different. Although, at the moment it seems very very probable that I will not finish in time.

As I went through all the junk that has collected in this room, I began to realize- wow, I've lived in this room since I was 7. And then I began to feel kind of sad and attached to the place... the photographs and paintings on the wall, my salmon arm chair... my bed.

Things just seemed to be rooted in place. I cleared most of my high school papers and momentos... then, I found a huge stack of papers- remnants from the college admissions process. Horrible flashbacks followed. I actually took the time to look over all the pain that I had endured during this era... Seniors this year, I'm so sorry. Don't worry, there is a light at the end of the tunnel!

The worst part was remembering everything I actually had to do... Looking back now, I knew it was a difficult process but I forgot just how difficult. I uncovered more and more letters I had written to teachers, guidance counselors, admissions counselors, camp counselors, etc. I found my writing portfolio and transcripts and essays and all the little creative things I had to do to make myself "stand out from the others"..... It's a miracle that I survived.

Why does it seem like only the US has such a stressful university admissions process? I only remember how much everyone stressed "bringing your personality into your application." Such a mentally exhausting time. As of now, I'm still not finished with cleaning / packing. Seems as though I'm putting my whole life into plastic containers... But looking through old things and applications really made me appreciate this stage of my life even more...

Waking up for an early breakfast tomorrow with friends! Hopefully I won't oversleep :)

The Conclusion

*Copied from my notebook, Original Date is Aug 11

Current location: Frankfurt, Germany (International Airport)

Current mood: hungry, inspired

Current craving: pancakes and strawberries, jasmine tea

Current time: 6ish am in Frankfurt... 12ish pm in New York... 12ish am in Singapore

Current attire: sweats, sneaks, tank, college sweatshirt, glasses, ipod

Current thoughts:

I haven't touched my blog, not to mention, opened my notebook in forever, seems like. Okay, maybe a few days. So now, I'm at the Frankfurt airport, waiting for my connecting flight to New York... and I finally acknowledged the least favorite part about travelling- I'm admitting that it's all over, I'm writing the conclusion, composing the finale, finishing the race... in plain words- it's the end!

To be honest, I think I purposely avoided all internet access and writing for the last week or so... obviously in denial that my vacation is ended. And then, very soon, I must begin a whole new lifestyle and confront my perpetual status of not-knowing.

My To-Do list is growing endlessly. I feel so frenzied for some reason that one night in KK, I sat straight up in my bed - middle of the night - and wrote a huge list of life goals... panicking that I will become a boring person who will only get a degree, work, work, retire, die... oh yeah, throw some kids and menopause in there somewhere. So, I have this long list which will eventually become more post-its stuck to my bedroom wall.

Despite all that, I'm feeling the happiest I've been in a long time. Can you believe it? I mean, I feel great... almost hyper. This whole year has been extremely stressful- full of college applications, the school paper, odd jobs, graduation, prom, my mysterious future, and just stupid high school drama... It's all over, hopefully. I've been able to get away during my time in Asia and I honestly feel as though I've taken advantage of each day and moment. It's been a full, fulfilling, satisfying journey.

Going to Singapore during the National day (country just turned 42...) was the perfect cooldown to the long stay in Malaysia. We ran into a number of traveling problems in Singapore, though- airline cancellations, hotel switching, etc. Yet, I was hardly moved. It was to be expected (wow, so many "to be" verbs... Mrs. Tremblay would kill me).

I read my horoscope: "You will feel great about your life- use this energy to get yourself going. Opportunities are opening up for you. This is a year of great changes and definitely a time to integrate into your life all that you have learned. Must do: Get a reality check." Usually, I don't bother with superstition but I think that was incredibly right on. Especially the part about the reality check.

I've learned a lot from this trip- grown up a lot and absolutely cannot wait to plan the next one. I think I'm ready for something drastic. They say, "Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, let it. Nobody said that it'd be easy; they just promised it'd be worth it." But can you possibly believe that everything EVERYTHING happens for a reason? And the part about taking a chance... easier said than done. But I guess cliches are cliches for a reason!

And now, I've succeeded in writing a very sickeningly opptimistic and happy journal entry haha. Don't know why I feel so enthusiastic at the moment... better use the energy while I can. Okay, boarding time!

Random Thoughts

I officially have three days left in Malaysia... Three days! My five-week trip is coming to a close... and I can hardly believe how fast it's passed by. Upon reflecting, this experience has been nothing like what I had imagined back in the US. It's been a hundred times better and I'm leaving this place with so much more than I had expected. While here I've...

-Grown quite used to lizards crawling up and down the walls.
-Relearned how to use squatting toilets.
-Gotten over fear of taxis.
-Written practically a novel.
-Visited an island.
-Climbed a mountain.
-Gained new friends.
-Played with my cousins.
-Improved my Chinese... a little.
-Gotten shockingly darker.
-Had my fill of ice kachang, soybean milk, roti canai, and watermelon juice.
-Improved my technique of ignoring flirty locals.
-Wasted a lot of money.
-Assisted in a fashion photo shoot!
-Some more stuff I can't think of now....

I had more I wanted to say but I left my notebook at home. Shall bring it with me next time... So, what am I up to the next few days? Tonight, the extended family is coming over again for swimming and dinner. Maybe some time I'll write an entry introducing them to you... My cousins, Pui Pui, Sim Yee, Bong Bong, San San, Wun Wun, Siew Yee, Eva, Aimee, Ida, Ivy, pheuf... I think that's all of them. Yes, very interesting names. Then, out tonight for drinks with friends... sleeping over Mich's and I don't know what else! Flight early morning on Wednesday to Singapore... Few days at Sentosa Resort, then Friday evening... flight back to the States! Five more days... then college!

Are You Japanese?

It's the beginning of the third week of Malaysia. Time is really flying! I'm starting to miss home a little. I had a random craving for French fries while passing McDonald's the other day. Eeks.

Whenever I travel anywhere, I always get the, "Where are you from?" I have everyone guessing, "Korea? China? Japan?" Actually, a lot of people think I'm a Eurasian mix even though I do not think I look white at all. It's funny when I'm finally like, "The United States!" Wha... ?

I expected the same sort of deal when I came to KK. But as soon as I got here, I don't get the "Where are you from?" The question has now metamorphosed into "Are you Japanese?" I think at least five people have asked me that since I've been here-random people, too! The first person to comment was a cosmetics salesperson. She said I looked Japanese and my sister looked Korean. A day ago, a random person came up to me and asked, "Are you Japanese?" And before I could answer, she just said, "Say yes. Because I have a bet with that person." Looked over at a bunch of these tourists. So, I just said yes.

I would love to visit Japan. I wonder if real Japanese people would think I looked Japanese. I just watched Tokyo Drift the other day. I wonder what Japanese people think of that movie! Haha.

A South Carolina Pastor in Malaysia

Every Sunday, my cousin and her friend take me to a different church. Today’s was an English speaking one at Sutera Resort (Yes!). It was very friendly and… rich. When the guest speaker went up to preach, we found out that he was an ex-pat hailing from South Carolina! Well, this should be interesting…

Oh, it was very interesting alright. He spoke really slowly, really loudly, and overly-dramatized. I exchanged looks with my friends over some of the random comments he would insert in his sermon.

Interesting comment #1: “We didn’t come from monkeys!”

Interesting comment #2: “For over 30 years, my dear brother was addicted to (“Drugs? Money? Gambling?” I thought)... homosexuality!”

Interesting comment #3: “All of you Indians and Chinese- Quit complaining about the affirmative action in Malaysia!”

Interesting comment #4: “I spent a lot of time counseling drug addicts, rapists, criminals, and homosexuals in my career…”

Since when were gay people put in the same category as drug addicts, rapists, and other criminals? I’m completely straight… but I never quite understood the disapproval for gays... especially in religion.

It reminded me a lot of another lecturer I heard at a Christian youth convention this past January. Her name is Carrie Abbott from somewhere in the south. She also painted this perfect, idealistic picture of “God’s people.” Her main message: “Men should act like men. Girls should act like girls.” I felt like she stereotyped these roles a lot, though. Is it “unnatural” for a girl to want to play with trucks and climb trees, etc. as a child?

I had a big of a debate with her after the seminar. Maybe, I was a little outspoken but I just couldn’t understand the close-mindedness of some of her opinions. Her most interesting comment: “Homosexuals are a deviation from what God intended.”

Excuse me? Someone was quite the judge. Eh, I'm being kind of rude. I’m getting ahead of myself. I’m a pretty liberal Christian and I like challenging these ideas, too much. Sometimes, these church services seem so showy and fake. The intentions of the congregation are pure but it’s easy to be influenced. I’m too careful of my beliefs (good or bad thing, again.) Or, I think I’m just paranoid of BRAINWASHING. Muahaha.

I still don’t understand how others can judge people so harshly and be narrowminded. I’m tired of hardcore atheist, scientists who are like, “Haha, how can you believe the world was created in seven days?” And then the really conservative Christians make comments like, “Pua humans didn’t come from chimps!” I’m sure creation is a lot more complicated than the simple human mind can comprehend… so… shut up about the monkeys!!

Besides, that’s not what evolutionists are saying!

I hate it when people don’t do their research…

Overall, a nice service, though...

Apologies, if this entry has offended you.

Political Venting on the Malaysian System

I spent the day at San Francisco café. I did some thinking.

In America (or, maybe it’s just the West), you always clean up after yourself at cafes, fast-food restaurants, etc. You go up to get your own drinks and food. But here, they always, always serve you. I was standing, waiting for the cashier to make my Americano coffee and I got the weirdest looks. Afterwards, I took my trash to throw out. And, there were no garbage bins. Anywhere.

I wonder why it was like that. Then, that got me to thinking about other things.

My father likes history a lot. I do, too. So, we started talking about the “Malay Way.” I guess, a term we coined. He told me that Malaysia was a pretty peaceful country for being an Islamic one (Oh, I forgot the term used that means the government is run by its religion).

I learned from my friends that it’s hard for non-Malays to go to the public universities here. That’s why all the Chinese and Indian (and some white) citizens must go overseas to private colleges and universities.

A tangent: the schooling system has always been kind of confusing to me. They follow the British way. High school (secondary school) is form 2 through 5 (actually, I’m not quite sure about that). But for the highest form (grade), many choose not to study in secondary school but go to “college”; it’s considered senior year. I guess it makes sense since most of the classes I took as a senior were AP courses. After finishing college, then they go to “university,” which is considered our “college.” I know… confusing.

The only difference is that non-Malays cannot go to public universities as easily as true Malays. True Malay people are of Indonesian, south-pacific origin. Any American would say, “That’s racial discrimination. It’s like saying… only white people can go to state schools.” But here, it’s a way of keeping the peace. It’s the way things are. In private ownership, 30% must also go to Malays.

My Western upbringing wants to say that it’s unfair. Many Malays are poor and uneducated. Most Chinese families have at least one Malay housekeeper because it’s cheap and gives them jobs. But still, why do they get so many advantages if the Chinese and Indian families worked so hard to make Malaysia a better country? Malaysia could’ve been as poor as Indonesia (country right below us) but it’s a lot better. Just look at Singapore- it broke away from Malaysia and it’s a mainly Chinese population. Now, Singapore is so far ahead. The exchange rate is almost equal to the dollar.

I guess the idea is similar to the affirmative action debate in the U.S. I have to consider the other side. Malaysia is very peaceful for a Muslim country. Not so much terrorist activity because the Malays are content with the laws. The 50^th anniversary of Malaysia’s independence from Britain is actually coming up. This country is young- during my father’s childhood, Britain still controlled it.

I’ve been reading a few English Malay newspapers- they’re written very entertainingly. I saw this article, “Emulate KL’s approach.” KL is Kuala Lumper, Malaysia’s capital. In it, National University of Singapore’s associate professor said that Malaysian leaders focused very well on taking care of the needs and grievances of the people and their practical approach in handling terrorism threats was very sensible.

But, she also said Malaysia should speak out more on issues.

I guess Malays must feel like the Chinese population is taking over their country. Still, the Hakka (my origin, a tribe from China, “wanderers”) have come to Malaysia a long time ago.

I saw another article on Former United Nations secretary general Kofi Annan. I guess he recently praised Malaysia for being “a relatively peaceful country despite its cultural differences and different faiths.”

“It has managed the ethnic mix better than any other society that I can think of. The Malaysia society, which celebrates both unity and diversity, is a message that should be shared with the rest of the world.”

But, he also said that he wished the majority would speak up. “I think Malaysia has a voice and should use it more often.”

I think sometimes Malaysia likes peace and unchanging ways a little too much, though. Is it an advantage or disadvantage? It’s harmonious over here. But I also see so many negative aspects. For one... the BATHROOMS! You have to pay money to use a bathroom that is so smelly, and wet, and dirty (Muslims don't believe in toilet paper. They use water to wash themselves after each bathroom visit.) And there's a lot of crime- especially murders and rape. Well, that’s another entry.

So, sorry for this political rant. What do I know? I’m just a teenager in this foreign nation. Not a diplomat or international affairs major. I read this other interesting article… I’ll save it for later, though! Too much thinking for one day.

The weekend is coming up- more stuffs to experience!