Mandatory Morning Run

8:55 AM

That's when I woke up this morning. A reminder: my French oral proficiency interview was scheduled for 9:05 AM. I skyrocketed out of bed, jumped into running shoes and ran for it like the nerd that I am. I've been trying to wake up early and go for a morning run for so long. Well, I finally did it today. Although, I showed up panting, out of breath and about to throw up over my interviewer. The things I'll do to prove my love for French...

I also caught the end of my last Anthropology class. And we had our last class in writing sem today. It was quite sad...

Blah-ing Around

I'm so stupid. I missed my French oral exam. And now it's rescheduled for nine in the morning tomorrow! NINE. Back in high school, that would've been considered late, but after waking up at around 10:30 to 11 each morning now... this will be torture. I think I'll still be half asleep. Repeat: I'm so stupid! Je suis tres stupide.

And it's gotten cold, again.

Now that classes are over, papers are turned in... and there are no more big shows or anything of that nature... I feel really. really. bored. I thought I would be relieved to have some sort of break from work but now that I'm not busy anymore, I have no idea what to do with myself! It doesn't help that this is the intense study week for everyone else. So, I'm just blah-ing around until Slope Day and all that craziness begins. I'm ending early, too. May 10th! TIME FLIES.

Curiouser and curiouser fo sho | Crazy Stuff I've Been Up To

How am I still alive? Thinking back to last week, I can barely believe that I've made it through all the deadlines, final projects, and presentations. Let's see what I've been up to. I've...

Written a FULL documentary play.

Gave a presentation on tax deductions and postsecondary tuition rates.

Scored a two-year internship with the Herbert F. Johnson Art Museum.

Cranked out my final anthropology paper.

BS-ed a French final paper.

Assisted and modeled in the Cornell Design League Fashion Show.

















Spring Formal!




















Interviewed with The Laundress|New York for a summer internship.



















Started planning a potential California trip.

Just begun my final Theater paper...

Passed out.

It's about time I talked about it | Greek Life

I'm getting tired of Greek life. It's one of those things, where one aspect of it is both something good/exciting and bad/exhausting: social networking. I'll be the honest advocate and say yes, fraternities and sororities can be very superficial. Since when has knowing people and having connections matter so much? Maybe I'm not getting that connections is just another part of the general scheme of life. Connections: finding friends, jobs, freebies, etc. And since when was it necessary to be a part of an organization in order to feel accepted and have friends? That is the negative side. Cornell is a huge school - but it all boils down to this very small community of individuals. You begin to recognize people everywhere. I both love it and hate it. This is what I've realized: to be Greek is great, and fun, and amazing for networking. But one thing it is not: an identity. For this reason, I'm so thankful for friends who are not a part of this circle. They've kept me grounded.

Another thing I've asked: would I have ever joined a minority sorority? There are Asian (Asian interest, they call it) Greek organizations out there. But another thing I've realized: minority greeks are worlds apart from the general greeks. You would have never thought of that but really but I'm not exaggerating at all.

For one, there's the rush and pledging process differences. They are much more liberal in choosing pledges (partly because there's not that much of a selection, usually). But much more intense and serious about pledging. My pledge process was a whirlwind of countless events and opportunities to meet other Greeks. However, minority pledging is a time when you're meant to be "tested." There are a lot of sketchy, secret codes to follow. When you finally do initiate (or "cross"- they follow a totally different terminology which sounds kind of scary and intimidating in my opinion, but may have been developed for this exact purpose) it's a HUGE deal. Letters, hands signs, titles: all these little things suddenly gain such meaning. And even when you do finally initiate/cross, you are still considered a new member ("neo"). There's an obvious hierarchy and it all has to do with these customs, titles - an humanly imagined concept. I wonder if it derives from Asian culture. The older you are from an Asian standpoint, the more respect you receive.

They're making the hand signs for their sorority/fraternity.

We talked about it in my anthropology class for a bit. How do supposedly ordinary symbols and rituals suddenly hold such meaning? A simple hand sign or greek letter suddenly has intense value because you permit some people to use them and others not to. It's like negative reinforcement and slightly twisted. You make a certain individual's life hell, take away all dignity and self-respect to make a simple event hold such importance. The individual feels a hundred times more grateful, afterwards. But does this mean we should make one part of our life miserable so that we can really appreciate the other half? It's the same idea with people who have a problem with cutting themselves to ignore the personal pain in their lives.

To blow it way out of proportion, Hitler used some of the same tactics to slowly transform the Nazis into a full-on hate group using little rules that slowly brainwashed an entire nation. First, the Jews weren't allowed to have bicycles. Next, a curfew. Then, not allowed to own business. The Nazis had an intense pride because they gave symbols like the swastikas and Nazi salute great importance. Everyone felt bonded together.

I'm in no way comparing Greek life to Nazism. But just to prove a point that some ideas made me question the meaning of fraternal organizations. What does it even mean to be part of a fraternity or sorority? Is it an identity? Does one get sucked into it? Once you join one, will you ever have a life outside of it? Will your only friends be other Greeks? This is what I've been pondering lately. And, I'm beside myself with gratitude - no, not about my initiation - that being Greek is not my identity and I sincerely believe... well, if I even had the courage to ask myself and others these questions then really, I haven't changed one bit.

Recipe for a Perfect Weekend

I love how all the prefrosh think that all we do at Cornell is sunbathe in bikinis, gorge jump, eat, and play Frisbee. When I visited last year (it's been a year??), five feet of snow covered all of Ithaca. How I ended up here... that is the question. Anyway, let me first give a little introduction:

Every Sunday, my sorority has a chapter meeting to discuss all that's going on in and around Alpha Phi. Today, a woman from the health center came to us about nutrition. Apparently, a person whose mood dramatically improves as a result of good weather has a high dependency on seratonin. That means food, physical activity, and 60 degrees and over temp = happy. Welcome to the most amazing weekend I've had at Cornell, thus far and the beginning of a much needed love affair with this University of Diversity.

On Saturday morning, I woke up and threw on the oldest, rattiest pieces of clothing I owned and joined up with some people headed for Holi, an Indian holiday to "welcome Spring" (such a nice reason, huh?). It was INSANE. About a hundred or more students ran around Annabel courtyard, throwing colored powder at each other for three hours. I barely survived- we were all covered in color and looked like a complete mess. A random person had thrown yellow into my eyes and I needed a friend to guide me step-by-step to a bathroom.


At the end of Holi, someone came up with the brilliant idea to go swimming. Which eventually turned into a mass migration to the gorges. (You see why I'm amazed I ever found myself in a a college surrounded by waterfalls and cow meadows?) Imagine a crowd of paint-covered, barely recognizable figures splashing into the gorges. I think the water changed color after all that.

Yes, I spent most of this weekend outdoors. After our gorge-jumping-slash-color-cleansing adventure, we decided to lay out in sun, walk to Collegetown for bubble tea, get dinner. I ran back to get ready for a breakdancing showcase and going out. The perfect weekend. I ran-without going to the gym, got utterly messed up-intentionally, ate delicious food, and actually got a legitimate tan. Seratonin overload. This week will be bombarded with activities as well. It's officially Cornell Fashion week... our show is this weekend. And Formal is coming up. My INTERNSHIP INTERVIEWS. PRESENTATIONS. And, again I'm writing here when I should be writing for actual grades (I have a full documentary play to write tonight). Ciao, and have a good week. PS And yes, I did end my weekend night outdoors.

I'm on a diet.

... well, sort of. I'm eating healthier. With little indulgences every now and then.

Every time we workout and find ourselves in a lazy rut, my friend and I have a bunch of motivational words, which we yell out like a woman giving birth. Here's some example, feel free to try them out: "SWIM SUITS," "BEACH," (for my friend, she's from Los Angeles) and "SPRING FORMAL," and "FASHION SHOW" for me.

This dress on the left is what I'm wearing to my Spring Formal. Cute, n'est-ce pas? I'm really getting into more Spanish-Italian trends.

So, I'm on a "diet" for now. Sigh...

A Panic Attack

"THERE ARE 18 DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT. 18!! EIGHTEEN. ONE-EIGHT. TEN PLUS EIGHT EQUALS EIGHTEEN DAYS OF SCHOOL LEFT. Was is going on in the world?? "

-Me to a friend at the cafe in the Hotel School over sandwiches

Battling Karma, Fate, and the Weather

This is a question I've been pondering: Am I genuinely loving Cornell/Ithaca or am I just loving the weather and where I'm at in life at this time? How much choice do we actually have over our emotions and general temperament? I keep thinking back to my first semester of college. If I could pick one word from the English language to sum it all up: angst. Yes, angst. Angst, as a single, pre-med, miserable freshman. Now, as a (still single) content, Art major, almost sophomore (did I just say sophomore?), I have to wonder: is this karma? Am I being repaid for the shitty semester I had last year? And if so, does this mean that I will have to return to a shitty next semester so that my karmic cycle is not off balance? That would... suck.

Everyone is amazed that the past few days have been nothing but beautiful weather. Bear in mind that beautiful weather in Ithaca just means sunshine. However, all of us know that this can't go on forever. So, we're all holding our breath, here. This string of perfect days has to end some time. I won't be surprised at all if I wake up tomorrow and see snow blizzarding outside my window. Around this time last year, I came to Cornell for a hosting weekend (oh I see so many kiddies walking around outside, oh the memories!) and it snowed. It was April.

Weather does affect mood. You can't argue that it doesn't. Walking to go to class - in sandals and a sun dress - definitely beats snow boots and jacket (and scarf, gloves, hat, earmuffs...) But when will this nice weather end? When will my happy semester end? We shall see. I've learned never to get too comfortable. That's when the unfortunate surprises occur. On a different note, I have two weeks to lose ten pounds. Yes, that's how much I've gained since I last got measured for the Cornell Design League's annual fashion show. Don't ask how I became a model... and definitely don't ask how I started to actually like Ithaca until the snow comes back again.

Cornell Model United Nations

This is what's up: for the past few days, my life has revolved around CMUNC. Myself and a few other poor sleep-deprived individuals have:
1, herded 500 high school students to various dining hall locations in full business attire
2, began calling students by country names or simply "delegate" (i.e. "Mexico, stay on the sidewalk!" "Shut up, delegate!")
3, banged a gavel
4, used the exact phrase, "Are there any points of motion on the floor at this time?" probably fifty times
5, dealt with delinquent delegations and students who stormed a glass door to escape the Delegate Dance
6, ate tons of pizza
7, acquired a posse

So, my weekend has felt like two weeks. And although, I've done hours, upon hours of voluntary work... I've actually done none. What's it all for? Why same as always of course: to save the world!

April Fool's Weather

I woke up early this morning to drizzle and grayness. Some days (or weeks) really make you not want to get out of bed. But do we ever have a choice? I had a bunch of things to do and too much going through my mind. So I threw on rain boots, scarf, wool coat as quickly as possible and headed out. April Fools. The weather was California warm- I felt like an eskimo. Lighter apparel and a pair of shades later, I ran to my belly dance class. Forty-five minutes of twirls, swirls, and exotic middle east music always makes my day. But as soon as I left the studio, it was showering outside. Another evil joke.

This oscillation between showers and blinding sunshine would continue for the rest of the day. Someone needs to make a t-shirt, "ITHACA IS A TEASE." Take a look at this: The walk to the library-bright, warm, and windy. Dinner-downpour, cold. Now-sunny, showering. Every possible combination of precipitation and cloud coverage occurred today! It was as though the weather became some sort of mood ring for my emotional state this week. Or wouldn't it be nice if it really was just a joke? What if someone really is waiting to pop out, "April Fools!" style?

An amazing sunset is setting outside my rain drop-speckled window. Across campus, people are studying for prelims. Some may be eating at dining halls, or riding buses, or running an endless track on the gym treadmills. This routine is endless... but then again, maybe some people are sitting inside, too. And thinking about the stupid weather and whatever drama the last heartache has brought. Thinking if it had all just been one great April Fool's joke.